Jumpstart Your Path to Harmony Today
Are you tired of not knowing where you fit in?
He pulls you in – asks you to help him with his children. Then when you do, he tells you “not like that”. Or he changes the punishment you dished out to your stepdaughter for not cleaning her room.
Then he complains about “normal” requests you make of the children. ~ Maybe it’s about eating the right foods. ~ Maybe it’s about saying “please” and “thank you”. ~ or doing homework first thing after coming home from school instead of waiting ’til bedtime.
He wants you to be involved, to love his kids and have a good relationship with them, but you feel like you’re doing everything wrong and not sure how they feel about you. You find yourself asking, “Are they blaming me for the new rules and for not being like it was before?”
Your concerns are valid and typical of blended families. I call it the psychology of stepfamily dynamics.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
How would you feel if:
- You and your husband discussed what to do differently and how, and that he actually considered your opinions and then experimented with a few of your suggestions?
- You felt comfortable imposing consequences for your stepchildren’s misbehavior, and they accepted it without a fuss, AND your husband followed through on giving it to them?
- You could get a full night’s sound sleep because you weren’t stressed out over yet another unresolved argument with your husband?
- Your husband included you in discussions with his ex-wife, whether it’s about schedule changes or the kids’ health?
Well, You’re in the Right Place.
I get that you’re doing what comes natural to you. So is your husband. You’re both simply doing what you learned – from your parents, friends, and past experience. Maybe you even took courses to help you, and read a lot of books. Maybe you’ve even read books and articles on how to thrive in a stepfamily. My clients tend to be well-read and well-educated, so don’t feel bad if you have and it hasn’t helped. (Even my Sociology Degree with a minor in Psychology didn’t prepare me for being a stepparent).
Unfortunately, your friends and family can’t help you either. Well, maybe here and there. But you wouldn’t be here if they could help you with everything. The thing is their knowledge is limited to their personal situation. However, every family has a bit of uniqueness due to different personality styles and family cultures. What works for one won’t work for all. It’s just how it is.
Plus, It’s hard to see the forest through the trees. What I mean is that you’re SO EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED that you’re not able to be objective about your own situation, so real solutions are outside your reach.
That’s where I come in.
After becoming a Certified Stepfamily Coach through The Stepfamily Foundation, I then spoke with hundreds of blended families – both thriving and re-divorced – and read a ton of material from industry leaders to learn what works and what doesn’t in remarriages. The challenges of my past clients have ranged from being recently blended and still having positive rapport with their stepchildren to having constant high-tension and a strained relationship with their stepchildren.
As an objective professional with an expertise in the psychology of stepfamily dynamics, as well as having past personal experience as a childless stepmom in a dysfunctional stepfamily, I can help you and your partner understand the real underlying issues. Basically, I interpret. I reiterate your concerns and feelings to your husband in a way that makes sense to him. I do the same for him to you. Together, we figure out your biggest needs and design a blueprint for getting your needs met, which is customized to your unique family.
If you’re ready to Jumpstart Your Path to Harmony in Your Remarriage, schedule a free no-obligation ‘Try it on for size’ coaching session with me at the following link: http://bit.ly/SampleCoaching